Dear fanfiction authors
by Aiko Rin Sayuri
Summary: One day, the characters of 07 Ghost were bored. So they looked themselves up on Google and clicked on one of the links entitled 'fanfiction'. After reading several of these works, they were horrified by the contents and I have received these letters to deliver to all fanfiction authors of 07 Ghost. Here is what they have to say. Rating may go up later.
1. The start

Hello! This is the introductory chapter of 'Dear fanfiction authors' inspired by a ROTG fanfiction of the same name.

Allow me to set the scene.

One day, the characters of 07 Ghost were bored. So they looked themselves up on Google and clicked on one of the links entitled 'fanfiction'. After reading several of these works, they were horrified by the contents and I have received these letters to all fanfiction authors of 07 Ghost.

Here is what they have to say.


	2. Teito Klein 1

Dear fanfiction authors,

I am not gay. This means that I do not wished to be paired with any of my friends, Castor-san, Labrador-san, Ayanami (who happens to be my uncle) and (heaven forbid) the perverted bishop also known as Frau. Or anyone else.

Yours sincerely,

A very annoyed Teito Klein


	3. Frau 1

Dear fanfiction authors,

I am greatly offended by the number of works which portray me as a porn loving, perverted bishop. Let me remind you that I am brilliant and that everyone secretly enjoys my attention so there is no way I am perverted.

Yours sincerely,

Frau-sama


	4. Hyuuga 1

Dear fanfiction authors,

Contrary to popular belief, I _do_ actually work. (Just when nobody's looking).

Yours sincerely,

Hyuuga

P.S. I don't only eat lollipops, I do need to eat actual food too.


	5. Castor 1

Dear fanfiction authors,

Due to the fact that Razette is a mermaid and I am human (?), it is impossible for us to mate and have half mer-babies. This is attributed to the fact that human and mermaid breeding habits differ too greatly in order for this to be possible. We are just _friends._

Of course, this is not an invitation to pair me up with Labrador, the moron, or any of the other characters in my past life. I am also extremely offended by the number of time that my love for dolls has been described as a 'doll fetish'. It is not.

Yours sincerely,

Bishop Castor


	6. Labrador 1

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far! I didn't expect so many in such a short space of time especially for a fandom like this ^^**

Dear fanfiction authors,

I do actually talk to the flowers. No, I am not crazy and any accusations of these are extremely mean and make me (and the flowers) very upset. Please don't do this again.

Yours sincerely,

Labrador and flowers.


	7. Teito Klein 2

Dear fanfiction authors,

I no longer go to school. Neither does Frau, Castor-san and Labrador-san. Even if they did, there would be no way they'd be in the same year as us due to the age difference.

Yours sincerely,

Teito Klein


	8. Capella 1

Dear fanfiction authors,

After seeing some fanfictions labelled 'yaoi' and 'shonen-ai ' for me and Teito-nii-chan, I asked him what it meant. I have been mentally scarred for life.

Thanks.

Capella.


	9. Kuroyuri 1

Dear fanfiction authors,

I will never reveal my gender, though it amuses me to read the fanfictions which specify that I am of the opposite sex.

Yours sincerely,

Kuroyuri.


	10. Teito Klein 3

Dear fanfiction authors,

I am not suicidal over Mikage's death. My friends have helped me to get over that, a long time ago.

Yours sincerely,

The mentally stable Teito Klein.


	11. Labrador 2

**And the last one for today:**

Dear fanfiction authors,

As a person trained in medicine, I am shocked to find the many accounts of 'Mpreg'. This is not possible due to the male human's anatomy.

Yours sincerely,

Labrador


	12. Burupya 1

**Thank you for all the various reviews and follows and favourites :)**

**To the reviewer who pointed out that Capella's letter is the same as the previous one, I'm very sorry! I uploaded the wrong one! Thank you for pointing it out to me!**

**This chapter was requested by Kayori-chan.**

Dear fanfiction authors,

Burupya! Pya!

From,

Mikage (Burupya)

(As dictated by Burupya and written by Teito)


	13. Teito Klein 4

Dear fanfiction authors,

If I'm the most popular character in the fandom, then why do I end up tortured so much?

Yours sincerely,

Teito Klein.


	14. Ayanami

**This will be the last one today because my computer is dying…**

Dear fanfiction authors,

I was forced to write this by my useless subordinate, Hyuuga. I do not consort with trash.

Yours sincerely,

Ayanami


	15. Teito Klein 5

**I have edited the mistake! Thank you with cupcakes and sprinkles to vovo for bringing it to my attention! All of today's chapters are dedicated to you. You have no idea how grateful I am!**

Dear fanfiction authors,

I am happily single and am not currently in search of a girlfriend. So please stop pairing me with OCs; I appreciate the gesture though.

Yours sincerely,

Teito Klein


	16. Frau 2

Dear fanfiction authors,

I am unhappily single, so please can all pretty girls –

(AN: the rest of the message was undecipherable due to blood stains and a rather large 'censored' scrawled over it)


	17. Castor 2

Dear fanfiction authors,

I am not in a relationship (of any sort) with my dolls either.

Yours sincerely,

Bishop Castor


	18. Mikhail 1

Dear fanfiction authors,

Anyone who forces my beautiful young master into a relationship with anyone (perverted bishops and others alike) will be made to suffer beyond that which can be found in the ninth circle of hell. Please get it into your thick skulls that I am _not_ doing this so I can monopolize him, but merely in order to protect his innocence and purity.

Goodbye, peasants.

Mikhail


	19. Hyuuga 2

**Last one for tonight and then I need to go and do some work…**

**Thank you for the reviews^^ I've replied to all of them (I think) and if I haven't then I'm extremely sorry :(**

Dear fanfiction authors,

I am not stuck in a love triangle between Aya-tan and Kona-chan. And as far as I know, Kuro-tan and Haruse-kun aren't together either.

Aya-tan is calling again ~

Laters,

Hyuuga


	20. Hakuren 1

**Just the one today because I'm exhausted.**

**Thank you to the various reviewers, favourites and follows! I love you all!**

Dear fanfiction authors,

When I said that 'I do not love girls', it was _not _an invitation to pair me with Teito. I still live in hope that I will meet a young lady who will appeal to even my tastes.

Yours sincerely,

Hakuren the beautiful.


End file.
